There was genuinely a time when I thought I might never date again. That I might be flawed - destined to be good for a kiss at a party but never dinner and a movie. Never hands held in the park or ice cream by the beach on a sunny day. It got me down. Like, really did. Seeing the highlight reels of so many friends starting a relationship, cruising along happily and even when theirs had failed, beginning again with someone anew, all the while I was still not quite healed from past break ups. Not quite in love with myself, happy with myself, ready to be myself at home alone.
A lot of this year was about that closure. That separation from self doubt. That ability to reconnect, to love myself not for the sake of it helping others, but for my own benefit. A lot of this year was getting my head in the right place, and my heart.
I laughed at Anna crying during How I Met Your Mother, secretly aware of how many tears I’d bawled during the final two seasons of that show. I’d always related to the Ted character - I felt his pain, was encouraged in his successes, and believed in his love for The Mother. In that one person who can change everything. His years of failure haunting me, and the ongoing hope the series provided for him, that he would one day meet her.
My eyes wept with recognition of that first moment he sees Cristin at the wedding. Streamed. Just a few brief unspoken seconds. Just facial emotions. And it warmed and swelled with all those little coincidences and similarities. And the ways they grow together, and how she was friends with all of his friends before him. I love how close they are, how in love they are and how tight they are. How so completely perfect they are for each other. I don’t think they could’ve cast someone better for that role.
With the show ending, it gave me the last bits of clarity to get my mind right. I got rid of things like Tinder, I got rid of the need to be dating as a mentality, and I got rid of the idea that I had to be making out with everyone I enjoyed conversation with or liked the look of.
In fact, I think the day that I was completely aware that I was going to be OK was June 28th. Helping a few friends through something had helped me grow more.
And then I found Marisa, and it felt so bizarre and quick and right. It felt like it was meant to be and I was terrified of that, but I was brave, too.
We talked for hours, we were comfortable in each others presence, and when we did begin to date we were so natural and so ourselves that it surprised friends. And it feels like a lifetime already because it seems so normal.
And my eyes are wet once more.

saydolly:

Aziz Ansari is like the king of callouts.

(Source: renloras)

Be jealous

Be jealous

-Tags: misha collins-

-Tags: gishwhes-

Ending Eras

At the end of May, I turned 29. The day after an excellent party with many good friends, I woke up to find a friend had gone through a pretty tough change in life, and I woke and ventured to find her and cheer her up, give support and try to make sure she was alright.

I watched and talked to her through the initial devastation, and the strength of character and personal growth she made as a result of these changes, going strength to strength.

Through her, many good opportunities have presented themselves to me over the years, and she is one of my best friends who has always given me what she can when she can.

I just re-watched some footage from the 31st of May that broke my heart, and upon reflection, gave me great joy. I’m just feeling lucky, I guess.

midtea:

This Year’s Love - Leddra (David Gray cover)

-Tags: leddra chapman-

-Tags: leddra-

-Tags: things i filmed-

-Tags: jondbarker-

-Tags: music-

-Tags: video-

-Tags: acoustic-

-Tags: piano-

I’m sorry but your coffee reminds me of spider eyes and this is not comforting

I’m sorry but your coffee reminds me of spider eyes and this is not comforting

iraffiruse:

WHO DIDN’T PUT THEIR TRAY-TABLE UP?

An afternoon out with Lily Melrose, where I took her to (I think) her first gathering, where George Reece was celebrating his album release. Ray Roberts, Gary C, Dodie, Rob Simpson, Emma Prendergast and many other friends were there. It was a good day and I had ice cream.

-Tags: llymlrs-

-Tags: lily melrose-

-Tags: jondbarker-

-Tags: midteavlogs-

-Tags: oohgaryc-

-Tags: cheekytv-

-Tags: george reece-

-Tags: iamgeorgetown-

-Tags: ray roberts-

-Tags: rayrobertsfilms-

-Tags: friends-

-Tags: days out-

Best Skateboard Video Ever!

When I first started using the internet to look at videos and listen to music, there was a large amount of AMV and skateboard versions of almost every rock and metal song that you could find. In The End by Linkin Park has over 626,000 AMV videos on YouTube alone. While out with friends skateboarding, I decided I would pay tribute and recreate the age old bad skateboarding montage, an homage to Winamp, KaZaa and Limewire’s download capabilities.

-Tags: linkin park-

-Tags: in the end-

-Tags: skateboarding-

-Tags: history-

-Tags: internet-

jammygummy:

"Space is big. Really big. You just won’t believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is.”

-Douglas Adams

(Source: ktt)

edwardspoonhands:

scishow:

trailburstnuggets:

jaybarou:

whitestuffknowslimits:

heytheretylerr:

WHAT KIND OF WIZARD FISH IS THIS

DUDE THATS A BABY KAIJU

pew, pew!

SCIENCE SIDE OF TUMBLR URGENT

YOU CALLED!?
This fish is not actually spitting bioluminescent spit…it’s spitting out its bioluminescent food! Some clever scientist has put some bioluminescent ostracods in a tank with some little fish. When agitated, these ostracods (tiny shirmpthings) secrete chemicals that, when combined, emit light.
Why?
You’re seeing why right here. Just before the fish spits it out, those light chemicals are filling up the belly of the fish. Now, it isn’t poisonous or anything…but the fish wants NOTHING TO DO WITH IT because the fish has predators too. 
So yeah, if you’re a little fish and suddenly you’re FREAKING GLOWING, your lifespan has just gotten a lot shorter. 
As soon as the fish realizes that there’s light emanating from its belly, it pukes out the glowing juices (and the little shrimp). You can actually see the ostracod in this gif swimming away down toward the bottom of the tank happy as a clam…or a shrimp. 
Evolution is AWESOME.

This is why you gotta follow SciShow on Tumblr.

edwardspoonhands:

scishow:

trailburstnuggets:

jaybarou:

whitestuffknowslimits:

heytheretylerr:

WHAT KIND OF WIZARD FISH IS THIS

DUDE THATS A BABY KAIJU

pew, pew!

SCIENCE SIDE OF TUMBLR URGENT

YOU CALLED!?

This fish is not actually spitting bioluminescent spit…it’s spitting out its bioluminescent food! Some clever scientist has put some bioluminescent ostracods in a tank with some little fish. When agitated, these ostracods (tiny shirmpthings) secrete chemicals that, when combined, emit light.

Why?

You’re seeing why right here. Just before the fish spits it out, those light chemicals are filling up the belly of the fish. Now, it isn’t poisonous or anything…but the fish wants NOTHING TO DO WITH IT because the fish has predators too

So yeah, if you’re a little fish and suddenly you’re FREAKING GLOWING, your lifespan has just gotten a lot shorter. 

As soon as the fish realizes that there’s light emanating from its belly, it pukes out the glowing juices (and the little shrimp). You can actually see the ostracod in this gif swimming away down toward the bottom of the tank happy as a clam…or a shrimp. 

Evolution is AWESOME.

This is why you gotta follow SciShow on Tumblr.

(Source: glukauf)

midtea:

Kyan and Kimberly Anne at St Pancras Old Church. Set on Flickr.

-Tags: Kyan-

-Tags: Kimberly Anne-

-Tags: St Pancras Old Church-

-Tags: flickr-

-Tags: photography-

-Tags: musicians-

-Tags: church-

sir-doge-swaggington:

evolutionofafitgeek:

liveasbravemen:

“I like clothes now. I have more energy. I sleep better. My sex drive is up. Blood’s flowing. I’m less susceptible to impulse. I’m in a different mode. When I was way out of shape, the idea of using whitening strips on my teeth seemed terrible. I have to do that every day? I’ll never do it. What you want is instant results when you’re out of shape. You want your teeth whitened in 45 minutes with the use of lasers. But when you’re in shape, you know it’s the result of doing a little bit every day. Moments aren’t just moments. A moment might be a week or a month. So instead of Boy, I’d love to eat this hamburger right now, I’m considering a little further into the future. I’m thinking, I eat that hamburger and that’s 1,200 calories, and I’m gonna work out tomorrow and lose 800 calories. I may as well eat a salad here, still do that workout, and then I’m actually making progress.” — Chris Pratt

This just motivated the fuck out of me.

Chris Pratt is my new god

sir-doge-swaggington:

evolutionofafitgeek:

liveasbravemen:

I like clothes now. I have more energy. I sleep better. My sex drive is up. Blood’s flowing. I’m less susceptible to impulse. I’m in a different mode. When I was way out of shape, the idea of using whitening strips on my teeth seemed terrible. I have to do that every day? I’ll never do it. What you want is instant results when you’re out of shape. You want your teeth whitened in 45 minutes with the use of lasers. But when you’re in shape, you know it’s the result of doing a little bit every day. Moments aren’t just moments. A moment might be a week or a month. So instead of Boy, I’d love to eat this hamburger right now, I’m considering a little further into the future. I’m thinking, I eat that hamburger and that’s 1,200 calories, and I’m gonna work out tomorrow and lose 800 calories. I may as well eat a salad here, still do that workout, and then I’m actually making progress.” — Chris Pratt

This just motivated the fuck out of me.

Chris Pratt is my new god

foxxxynegrodamus:

ooooohhhhhhhhh I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODAY

I WANNA FEEL THE HEEEEAATTTTT WITH SOMEBODAYY

For Dan on his big day

(Source: stupididiotboy)

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