Recent years, self proclaimed “nice guys” emerged en masse, claimed they had been “friend-zoned” and complained on society’s treatment of them. That doesn’t sound nice. That sounds like you’re expecting something rewarding for your behaviour.
You’re not nice because of what you can get back, you’re nice for the opposite. It should be natural to be polite, caring, considerate, helpful and a good friend. Showing humans common courtesy isn’t a rewardable existence, it’s the bare minimum we should expect.
I’m nice to people in the hope that they feel safe, that they feel comfortable and able to relax. Comfortable to be themselves, to talk, to voice their worries, express their ideas, their passions and vulnerabilities without fear of repercussions. To be trusted is huge - I made a short video on that [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDSC0F6Ddr8 ], especially with all the damaged pasts we have, and to be trustworthy at this age suddenly carries much more with it.
I’m calm because I have perspective, good friends and a supportive family. I’m calm because I take an extra second to decide and act on information. I’m calm because I avoid lying as often as possible because constantly trying to check a fake story for consistencies is exhausting and unsatisfying, benefiting nobody, and impressing even less. Being honest is so much more simple and calming.
Being a nice person doesn’t have to mean being a pushover, or not expressing how you feel, or any of those things. You can know and speak your mind, though there’s a chance you’ll be considerate of the emotions and feelings of those around you when you do speak it. You can know and speak your mind, confront and confide without conforming or using malice.
Act with love in your heart and your decisions, with kindness, excitement and passion. With conviction, yet an open mind and an enthusiasm for truth and knowledge. And do it for the sake of improving you.
Feel free to discuss with me on http://twitter.com/jedijon