-Tags: kenan and kel-
-Tags: orange soda-
-Tags: ahhh here it goes-
I’ve had people say that it’s because there are less people to notice, to hear, so your inhibitions are lowered. I’ve been told that it’s loneliness, or dependency.
But I remember being in healthy relationships and wanting to be awake at 2 or 3am and able to tell them I loved them, that I adored them, that I wanted to touch them, to know them, to feel their presence and to be a part of their life, just as while I am single, I do the same.
My brain operates better at night - I am nocturnal. I dance more, I sing more, I write more, I think more. My over active imagination thrives on the sun going down, but is dependent on the sun having been up first. I enjoy the day time, the fresh air, the oxygen of being out and walking. I enjoy it all so very much.
But I spend all day thinking it is a bad idea to tell someone what is going on my mind, or to instigate those long conversations ultimately about everything and nothing, only for night to be when I give up the fight against such ideas and just want to begin engaging. Begin learning. Begin being proven wrong and seeing and believing and growing. At night, I want to grow taller than the buildings of Manhattan, stronger than the survivors of great earthquakes and as wise as the most learned and most experienced people.
At night, despair is often far away. My concern for money isn’t much when there is so much to experience, so many less fortunate, so much to marvel in the eye of. My mind wanders to places I wish to visit, and you’re one of the first people I want to have there.
And you laugh, and you smile, and we make eye contact and we may touch but not like that. And often that is enough. You help keep me thinking, keep reminding me to do what I enjoy doing and to be a better version of myself. You inspire me without meaning to, and you encourage me without trying. It comes naturally to you.
What is it about 2 or 3am, that makes those around you wonder whether it’s just ‘the drink talking’, when drink is not a part of the picture? When you are keenly, soberly sat and your mind is on an adventure through books and film, music and the tranquil sounds of the river flowing outside my window. When shutting your eyes doesn’t send you to the land of dreams but just makes listening to your heart that much easier.
What is it about 2 or 3am?
-Tags: my mind-
There is a game where you beat up a cat.
someone played an lcd soundsystem song over a miles davis trumpet solo and i think i feel alive for the first time in my life
THIS MADE MY EVENING
-Tags: look book-
-Tags: mandy hynes-